Day 1: We Did Not Crush "Chest and Back"...

... "Chest and Back" crushed us!

Today's workout: Chest and Back, Ab Ripper X at 11:00 a.m.
Hours of sleep last night: 6 1/2

Breakfast: medium apple, mozzarella cheese stick, 4 baby carrots
Post Workout Snack: protein bar, protein shake
Lunch: Applebee's full portion shrimp and spinach salad (with red onions, red peppers, almonds, bacon, and largely untouched hot bacon vinagrette on the side)
Afternoon Snack: 30 pistachios
Dinner: 2 3oz salmon fillets, 1 cup rice, 1 cup green beans
Pop: 4oz of Barq's root beer (just enough to help eventually wean me from caffeine altogether)

For day 1, we decided to team up and workout together. I occupied the left half of the living room, while Aaron used the larger right half of the living room. The "Chest and Back" workout was a little over an hour and consisted mostly of push-ups and pull-ups. As we began warming up and stretching to Tony Horton's often-cheesy dialogue, I began wondering why the people in the video didn't appear to be the most in-shape or attractive people. What really got me is that Tony is fully-clothed. Why, if you're trying to make money selling your own personal workout, would you cover up your body?! And, on a smaller note, why does the one woman in the video look like the blonde guy from Queer Eye?

My amusement with these observations and questions ended abruptly. It wasn't so funny to make fun of Tony's ridiculous peptalks or Marina's awkward jog once I had to do my first set of push-ups. I was still sore from yesterday's fit test, so I did 20 solid push-ups and 15 "girl" push-ups. After performing those "to failure," I did 3 supported pull-ups and 5 military push-ups. I then did 3 chin-ups and 10 wide pushups. Marina didn't seem funny at all now; in fact, she was performing just as many reps as the other men in the video. As we started to do close-grip pull-ups, the only suitable doorway we had been using for our pull-up bar broke. Yes, the lip above the doorway actually cracked in half, leaving no way for us to finish our chin-ups and pull-ups, so we decided to do bicep curls and military presses instead.

Things only got more humbling from there. I struggled through 5 decline push-ups, 12 "heavy pants," 2 diamond push-ups, 20 lawnmowers on each side, 6 dive bombers push-ups, and a few back flys. At the end of this routine, we did one more set of everything, but it seemed that the first rep of each exercise was our failing point. I will admit that I loved the dive bomber push-ups--I felt like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment as she slinked her body through all those laser beams.

Feeling the burn across my pecs and the shakiness in my upper arms, I put in the "Ab Ripper X" video for another dose of humble pie. Tony worked out with three new people for 16 minutes, and I was actually able to DO some of these exercises! The In & Outs and Seated Bicycles killed my hip flexors and made my quads burn, while Seated Crunchy Frogs amd Wide Leg Situps were probably my favorite because I had never done them before. The Fifer Scissor was definitely as challenge, but I completed the Hip Rock'n Raise s and Pulse Ups with no problem. The Roll-Up V-Up Combo was hard to get used to and I look forawrd to mastering it. The Oblique V-Ups crunched my sides with more intensity than I have ever felt, The Leg Climb hurt my knees, and the Mason Twist was a complete fail.

If you have no idea what these exercises are, don't worry: until doing them, I had no idea what they were either. All I know know is that I will be able to complete these ab exercises fluidly before the Fourth of July holiday. This means a lot to me because I used to be one of those female athletes that did 1000 sit-ups a day and had a six-pack rivaling that of a teenage boy. Seriously. Too bad I don't have those pictures to post.

The diet was a bit of a change, but not to much of a struggle. I'm not used to eating breakfast until Ember takes her morning nap, but I have a feeling I could not have done half the workout without having fueled my body. Everything was going great until we walked into Applebee's for lunch. All the food smelled delicious, as if I had never tasted a single spice or seasoning before. All the food looked scrumptious, taking on an almost erotic quality. I looked at the spinach dip appetizer photo on the menu, stuck out my bottom lip, and turned the page to look for a salad. Let me tell you, I have never in my life eaten every leaf and topping to a restaurant salad until today. I pushed the red onions to the side and left the hot bacon vinagrette in its plastic cup, but I damn near licked the plate before leaving the restaurant hungry. Or at least I imagined I was hungry.

I found myself occupied with food, what portions were coming next, all day and night. Each meal and snack was great, but I knew that ending the night with dinner and no evening snack would be killer. I decided to turn off the kitchen lights, reject the couch (where most evening snacks are consumed), and head into the bedroom to write. I took with me my mini glass of root beer to help ward off the caffeine withdrawal headache, and I'm trying to convince myself it's gross. I'm doing a pretty good job: it's only half-empty and I'm ready to brush my teeth.

Days to go: 89